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Surprise! πŸ˜›

This is not going to be a long list of aches and pains with all the gory details.  Just a brief description of why I can sit on my butt all day engrossed in my hobbies or playing my violin. A few years back I was diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder.  No one was surprised except me.  After some painful self examination I had to accept the diagnosis.  When I did, I also realized how terribly I'd treated some people, especially those who were closest to me.  I had to apologize to several people, saying " I know this doesn't excuse my behavior, but it does at least explain it. I'm so sorry."  Again, no one was surprised, and that was rather humiliating.  My fits of rage and crying mortification slowly faded once I began to take appropriate medications.  Shortly after the first surprise followed two more less-surprising diagnoses:  anxiety disorder and PTSD.  I'll explain the cause of the latter in my next installment.
As if that weren't enough, I also developed shaky hands, shuffling walk,  tiny illegible handwriting and several other symptoms of Parkison's Disease.  That's the main reason (I think) that I was awarded disability benefits. Personally, I think the mental illnesses are worse.
Altogether, they cost me my driver's license and independence. I have to depend on a friend whenever I need to go somewhere.  πŸ˜Ÿ


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© 2003 Brenda Lee Renwick

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